An impossible starship orbits an impossible planet; just another night in the life of Jake Wilkins, ace oneironaut. He could send the lander down to the planet below, a swirling vortex with chained islands linked above the gas and plasma at the core, but that wouldn’t be his style.

No, Jake opted to fly up from his seat at the helm of the space ship Grandawesome and slip through the view-screen like a ghost, standing among the void and stars in his red and gold space suit before rocketing down to the planet by himself. The atmospheric entry provided no issues for the young adventurer. He simply raised his arms up as a shield, charging his way down to an island town below.

Clear of the atmosphere he flipped down to land like the Olympic gymnasts he’d seen dismounting that evening on the television as the googly-eyed mayor shuffled towards him, slug-like body covered in fine red clothing and a particularly splendid hat.

“Jake the Ace, we, the Slugulites, need your help!” The mayor pleaded. “Robodragons and Zombie Dancers are coming for the town, and we’re powerless to stop them!”

Jake pulled out his trusty pistol. “I’ll stop them!” He declared, before looking at the oncoming hordes of metallic flying lizards and pop-esque jigging undead. “But my trusty pistol might need an upgrade!”

His trusty pistol was now a even more trusty laser bazooka. With a nod of approval, Jake leaped high in the air to rain down laser bombs on the incoming hordes. Not even robodragons could resist the burny justice of laser bombs, and after a few short but overly dramatic moments, his enemies were vanquished.

“You saved us, Jake the Ace!” The Slugulite Mayor cheered, before calling forth the town’s most sacred relic, the Infinite-Slicing Pizza Cutter. “Take this, and enjoy all the pizza in the world!”

But Jake the Ace shook his head. “As great as it is, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t hero for the rewards, and mum says pizza should be a treat, not an everyday thing.”

“You are brave and wise and good,” the Mayor nodded. “In which case, we shall not keep you, for there are countless worlds that need your skills in awesome and excellence.”

The Slugulite spoke the truth, so it was with a giant leap and rocket booster sneakers that Jake did return to his spaceship. There were many more adventures to be had before his Rocking Robot alarm clock roused him for the pre-school preparations.


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